The R&R Big Adventure

Nip(ple) and Tuck(ed)

Neither of us have been to Chiang Mai before – our planned trip to Thailand in 2020, which included Chiang Mai, was a casualty of COVID – so we were looking forward to going somewhere new in the country. With only a few days here, we didn’t want to waste time when we arrived and so took to the streets after we checked-in. The city apparently has 300 Buddhist temples, and it certainly felt we were stumbling upon one every few street blocks. We went into a couple of the larger ones, and as dusk was arriving, there were far fewer tourists. The fading light made the golden temples look more majestic. We saw a sign saying that women couldn’t enter one part of Wat Chedi Luang as their menstruation ‘humiliates and ruins the sanctity of the city pilar'(!).

Compared to Bangkok, Chiang Mai is more laid back – restaurants are much more casual (and cheaper), streets have more character, and in some parts of town the shops seemed to alternate between medicinal cannabis shops, tattoo parlours, and cheap massage places (which were mostly all heaving). You can see why it is popular with back packers. And probably divorced middle-aged men. It does not have a reputation for being a late night place (possibly because people are either stoned, or too relaxed after their massage) and the streets were certainly emptying by 9pm, which suited us as we were tired after our travels and sightseeing.

The next day we were feeling the most refreshed we had done in a while. We explored more of the city on foot, including several markets and a couple more temples. R had booked us on an afternoon’s excursion which took us to a famous temple, set high up on a hill just outside town – Wat Phra That Doi Suthep – and the so-called ‘hidden temple’, Wat Pha Lat, further down Doi Suthep hill. We travelled in a famous Chiang Mai red car (songthaew), a basic van with bench seats and an open back. There were three other couples travelling with us, all American: one younger couple on honeymoon, and two retired couples who were friends. One of the wives was fascinating – she was semi-retired and had arrived in Asia via teaching on a boat chartered by Colorado State University. Called ‘Semester At Sea’, for one semester it travels from Amsterdam to Thailand via the Cape of Good Hope, with students being taught on board, and going on field trips when it docks every week or so. The faculty get a ‘free’ trip to Asia, and free time to explore when they are in port. She was very interesting to talk to – she lectured in Russian and Ukrainian history so was unsurprisingly devasted by events there in recent years. Her and her husband were well travelled; they were also looking at countries to potentially re-locate to, given the imminent change in the U.S. political landscape. That is now the second family from the U.S. we have met on this trip who have been looking to move abroad because of the political situation – the first being a family (with young children) from Iowa we got chatting to coming back from Malolo Island in Fiji.

Wat Phra That Doi Suthep was essentially more of the same we had seen in the old town, except on a grander scale, and with panoramic views of Chiang Mai. The ‘hidden’ (except to coach loads of tourists) temple was more interesting, set amongst the jungle undergrowth, with decaying temple buildings, a waterfall leading to a natural infinity pond, and steps leading down from one temple to an old viewing platform, which had great views of the city. I kept thinking this would make a perfect site for a five star hotel, glazing over when our tour guide was talking, but instead picking out in my head which different bars and dining establishments would go where on the temple complex.

We found a lovely Thai restaurant on the river front in Chiang Mai for dinner – with dozens of lanterns illuminating the terrace area. After dinner we headed to town for a post dinner drink and stopped by the Ram Bar – a review show bar which was very good. I didn’t inherit the gay show tunes gene (musicals do nothing for me) but the performers were actually very good – the kathoeys (‘lady boys’) were stunning, lip-synched brilliantly, and their drop splits caused more than a few gasps from the audience. R was in his element. Aside from seeing some tape-covered nipples, it was tame burlesque. We stayed later than intended so were feeling tired this morning for our early start to get to an elephant sanctuary two hours south of Chiang Mai.

We chose the camp we are staying in for one night as they had a good reputation for looking after the elephants, with acres to roam, and are well looked after by their mahouts (keepers). This afternoon we got to both prepare the food, and feed the elephants. They didn’t like the boring old grass we had as part of their meal, preferring instead to sniff out with their trunks the freshly quartered pineapple we had in our baskets. They were very cute, and liked having their trunks stroked as well. We also saw a traditional Karen village – no, not a village full of Karens, but ancient tribes originally from Myanmar – and saw how they prepared food, wove clothes and cooked. We all took part in helping to prepare a chicken curry – including sifting rice, grating coconuts and making curry paste. We got to eat the product of our labours and it actually tasted very nice. Tomorrow we will be seeing the elephants being washed and cared for, and apparently will be making paper out of elephant dung.

Fun fact from today – if you are caught on the plains of Africa, severely dehydrated, and with no available drinking water, drink the water squeezed out from elephant dung. It has few bacteria in it, and won’t harm you. I assume someone on death’s door first discovered that.